


It Goes On

by discombobulatedetymology



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 02:56:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2835488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discombobulatedetymology/pseuds/discombobulatedetymology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean's a senior pre med student, with more baggage than he knows what to do with, volunteering in the student clinic. Eren's an art major with his finger stuck in a beer can. Somehow life entangles the two of them together in a way they never imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
> 
> -Robert Frost 
> 
> So I wrote this because Sarah complained there wasn't enough erejean fan fic in the world. 
> 
> Thanks to that beautiful lady for editing this into something readable.
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com

Eren sat in the student clinic staring at his finger. It was trapped in a beer can, and to his credit it had seemed like a really good idea at the time since one of his friends had dropped his dorm key in it. 

"Yeager." Someone called. Still a little drunk Eren looked up to find an attractive senior with a clipboard looking bored. 

"Some time today would be great." He snarked, pushing his glasses up his nose. On unstable legs, Eren rose and followed the other guy into a small section of the clinic that served as an exam room. 

"I need you to take your shoes off and stand on this scale." He tapped the scale with his pen without looking up from the clipboard. Humming quietly to himself he scribbled down the weight and motioned to the exam table. Eren sat on the table cradling the can that was stuck on his finger so it didn't hang and cause him any more pain. 

The other man walked over and held his hand out waiting for Eren to reach out and show him the damage. "Let me guess, seemed like a good idea at the time?" He scoffed and carefully set his hands on Eren's turning it as best he could without hurting the other boy.

Eren squinted at the name tag pinned to the guy’s coat, he was acting like an asshole. But in his still slightly tipsy state Eren couldn't make out the words on his name tag. Klrsesdtein? Eren squinted trying harder, Cirdedtale? 

"Dude, is your name Clydesdale? Like the horse?" Something inside the can sloshed, followed by a small metallic sound and a trickle of beer pouring out onto the now very agitated medical student. 

"No. It's Jean Kirschtein. Are you still intoxicated?" He asked, glaring at the front of his white coat where a large stain was starting to appear. 

Eren giggled, "A little, yeah." 

"Good then you will remember this hurting less." Jean pumped a handful of lotion into his palm before smearing it all over Eren's stuck finger and the can. The delicate way he touched his finger was surprising to Eren since his bedside manner had been anything but delicate. In the blink of an eye Jean had wiggled the can off of Eren's finger with only a small cut. 

"Wow, you're like a god or something." He stared in awe at his finger and wiggled it around. With a look of disgust Jean set the can on the counter before coming back over with a cotton ball. He wiped the area clean and bandaged up the cut. "So, thanks man. I guess I'll go now." He hopped off the exam table and headed for the door. 

Jean scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to Eren. "Take this to Sasha at the front desk. She'll see that you're taken care of." 

Eren stared for a few seconds before turning and leaving. The girl at the counter was hyperactive and only made his head hurt worse, she handed him two aspirin and a small cup of water. Eren took his pills and headed back to his dorm. 

\-----

The door to his dorm was cracked open and there was trash everywhere. Significantly far more people than he remembered being there last night were passed out around his room. Mikasa was the only one awake but was on her way out to training. She placed a peck on his forehead and whispered good bye before closing the door behind her. Eren contemplated kicking everyone out or just curling up in bed with his roommate Armin. But since Krista and Yimir had taken over his bed and there was no way he was sleeping on the floor with Connie, the next best place was Armin's bed. Glancing at the clock that read 7 A.M. Eren shoved Armin over and crawled under the covers, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. 

\------

What eventually woke him up was Mikasa smacking his exposed shin with a damp towel. Years on the track team had made her deadly with a towel and he knew he'd regret it if he didn't get up to tend to her. 

"Mm. Yeah. I'm up. Just a sec." He mumbled sitting up. When he opened his eyes he found his room had been cleaned and everyone was gone. "What time is it?" 

"It's 5pm. You slept all day." Her face was blank but Eren could read the disappointment in her tone. 

"I can't hold my liquor like you. Sorry." Eren yawned and scratched the back of his neck, his head was killing him and it seemed such a shame to leave the bed. 

"Whatever. You owe Armin and I dinner." She slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. 

"Alright, that's fair." He shoved his feet into a pair of tennis shoes and ran a hand through his hair. "Wait for me." He called, grabbing his wallet off the desk where Mikasa always put it if she cleaned. 

"So how was practice today?" 

She shrugged. "Eh. The new girl on the team this semester is pretty fast. So that's good." 

"Good. I'm amazed every time you get up from a night like last night and go running." 

"It's not a big deal. I just like to run. And," She paused unsure if she should continue. "And I know my limits when we all drink." 

"Are you saying I don't?" Eren could feel his face start to heat up. 

"That's not it, it's just, you should be more careful." 

"Whatever. I'm going to go get dinner." Eren turned away from her, leaving her standing on the quad by herself. He tried not to dwell on what she had said but despite his best efforts all his thoughts kept coming back to those words. _I am careful. I don't drink out at parties, well not often. And it's not like I do drugs or sleep around. Well only a little in the sleeping around department, but never while I'm drunk. And where does she get off saying that to me? She's not mom._

Because he'd been thinking so hard he managed to run smack into someone else who was in line for the local Chinese place on campus. "Oh man I'm so sorry. I'm a little hung over and I didn't see you there." 

"Classy, Yeager, real classy." The man to the right of the one he ran into spoke; the voice sent ice down Eren's spine. 

"Oh shit. Hey Mr. Smith and Mr. Ackerman." He laughed awkwardly hoping they could forget this ever happened. 

"So that's why you weren't in class today, huh? I mean I can't make you come to class but you're missing out on a real education. I hope you'll take your studies more seriously in the future." The older blonde walked away from him to head to the pick up window. 

"He takes it personally when you skip class. He thinks he did something wrong and I normally have to remind him that the student body is made up of little shits like you. But seems that you took care of that today, so thanks for saving me the trouble." The smaller dark haired man turned on a heel and followed after Smith. 

Watching his Ethics professor and his Studio Art professor sit down together to have dinner was one of the weirdest things he'd ever seen. He knew they were friends, but seeing the seemingly different men sit together still threw him off. Eren ordered enough take-out to feed an army and headed back to the dorm room. Laden with bags he patted his pockets looking for his dorm key. 

"Oh shit." 

It dawned on him. Connie dropped his key in that can of beer he stuck his finger in. The one horse boy took off at the clinic. He didn't have a key to get in. Eren put the bags down and pulled his phone out of his pocket it was about 5:45pm now and the student clinic was closing at 6. Picking his bags back up he started hauling ass across campus. Out of breath and slightly sweaty he put his bags on the floor and tried the door. It was locked. 

"Fuck." 

"Why are you back here? Did you stick your finger in another can?" Said the same snarky voice from this morning. 

"Holy shit! Oh my god! You scared the shit out of me asshole." Eren grumbled with a hand over his heart. It didn't go unnoticed that the horse guy from that morning wasn't wearing his coat anymore and had his shirt unbuttoned, Eren was severely distracted by his collar bone. 

"Yo, Earth to planet d-bag. What are you doing here? Do you need medical attention?" The voice pulled his eyes back up to a mouth, that lets face it looked really nice, and eventually back up to a set of eyes that were glaring at him for some reason. 

"Who are you calling a d-bag? And no I don't need medical attention." Eren barked. 

"Oh, so just attention then." He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"No. Ugh. Shut up. Stop talking. My idiot friend Connie dropped my key in that beer can. That's why I stuck my finger in it. And that's why I ended up here this morning. Except I forgot that my dorm key was in that can and I left it here." 

"Don't you have a roommate?" He just kept staring, his face hadn't dropped the glare yet. 

"Yes, but he has a late class today which is why I was getting us dinner. Because believe it or not horse face I'm a good fucking friend." 

The glare disappeared and was replaced by a look of shock. "See I know people and was going to find your RA and help you get a key but since you just called me horse face I think I will pass. The name's Jean for the record. I doubt you remember that from this morning." 

"That's because you called me a d-bag and said I was seeking attention when I wasn't." Eren was torn between wanting to smack the guy or grovel to get a new key. 

"To be fair you showed up in my life, drunk with your finger stuck in a beer can and dressed like a douche." Jean sighed and pulled off his glasses to wipe them on his shirt. 

Eren looked down for the first time all day, acknowledging what he was wearing. His jean shorts were splattered with paint, and the tank top he was wearing said "Train like a Saiyan Prince" on it in annoying orange letters. "Alright. Maybe I look like a douche but you shouldn't judge people based on what they look like." 

Jean shrugged, "Everyone judges everyone. Why should you be any different?" He slipped his glasses back on and turned away tugging his bag further up his shoulder. "So are you coming or not?" Eren didn't know what he did or said to make the other guy change his mind but he sure as hell wasn't going to question it. "What building do you live in?" 

"Uh. Sina." He said, grabbing his bags and following Jean. "Thanks for this man." The other guy didn’t respond, he just slipped his hands into his pockets and kept walking. From behind, Eren could see where his hair got darker under his undercut. He could also see that the legs of his glasses were actually teal and not black like he thought. Then there was the way he walked, like he had somewhere to go, it was so different from how his friends walked. 

The two of them entered the building and Jean turned to the RA's room, knocking sharply on the door. Bertolt stuck his head out, he was sweatier than usual. "Who is it?" He heard a gruff voice call from further back in the room. "Bertl, come back to bed." Turning an unhealthy shade of red, he stepped out of his room. 

"Hey. This loser lost his key in the clinic and I'm pretty sure someone threw it out. Mind giving him a spare till you can make him a new one tomorrow?" Jean asked, leaning against the outside wall of Berthold's room. His tone was so nonchalant that Eren wondered if he often saved kids from being locked out of their rooms. 

Bertolt disappeared into his room for a bit longer than necessary before coming back out with a key. "I need you to return that by noon tomorrow so I can give you a new key." And with that he was gone. 

"I'm going to say this in all seriousness. That's most likely his master key so please don't fuck around with it. It could get him in a lot of trouble, trust me I know." He rolled his eyes and seemed lost in thought for a moment. "Keep your fingers out of beer cans and your ass out of my exam room, kid." Jean patted his shoulder and started walking out of the building. 

"Hey!" Eren called after him. "Do you wanna join us or something?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck and shifting his weight from foot to foot. 

"With you and your loser freshman friends?" He asked, walking backwards so he could face Eren. "I think I'll pass but thanks for the offer." 

Eren was tempted to throw a pair of chopsticks at the guy, but since he had gotten him a master key he let the insult slide. "Thanks for the key." Eren mumbled awkwardly as Jean walked out of the building and left him standing in the lobby feeling like he was a 12 year old with his sweaty palms and shaky hands. 

\------

Eren had never been so thankful for a microwave in his life. It was one of those things you weren't supposed to have in your dorm room but everyone did anyway, and it meant hot food. "So did you guys know that Bertolt is gay?" He asked, shoving a huge bite of rice in his mouth. 

Armin was sitting at his desk trying to help Eren study for his ethics midterm, but he wasn't really paying attention. "Makes sense. He's always being followed around by that big, blonde guy." Armin commented as he scrolled down to the next question. "So if you're talking about an idea with someone and they eventually create it without crediting you what are your options?" 

"To become one of those twins from the Facebook movie. Armin!" Eren whined between bites. "I don't wanna study!" 

Armin rolled his eyes. "You never want to study. You're going to fail Eren." 

"Pfft." He scoffed, spitting a few pieces of rice onto his comforter. 

"Pick that up. I washed those recently." Mikasa groaned while coming into their room. She was wet from her shower, and there was someone with her. "Annie this is Armin, my brother's childhood best friend. And this is my brother Eren. Boys, this is Annie." The room was dead silent. It was rare that Mikasa ever spoke to anyone but them, let alone make friends and bring one to their Monday night Chinese dinner. 

"It's nice to meet you Annie." Armin said, extending his hand. She shook it and his face contorted to one of pain. "Wow. You're strong." 

"I was on the wrestling team in high school. Sorry about that." She seemed to be taking her cues from Mikasa, who had put a plate of food in the microwave and was now making her way to Armin's empty bed. 

"Help yourself." Armin smiled. 

Mikasa threw a balled up napkin at Eren when Annie wasn't looking. "Say something!" She hissed. 

"Are you on the wrestling team here, then?" Eren asked, trying to sound interested and hoping it was good enough to not land him in a headlock from Mikasa. 

"No. I'm on track with your sister. She told me quite a bit about you so it's nice to put a face to the name." Finally done cooking her food, she took a seat next to Mikasa; their knees were touching. Eren slowly put it all together. Both of them have wet hair, Annie is wearing Mikasa's track tank top, and Mikasa is wearing a sweatshirt in the middle of spring.  
"Oh my god. You two had sex." Eren blurted out. 

"Jesus, Eren. We know you're thick but was that necessary?" Armin commented from his desk. He'd given up on getting Eren to study and had moved on to his own homework. There were fish on the screen and that's how he knew the difference. 

Mikasa's face was beet-red and she was tugging on the hoodie, trying to cover her neck where he could distinctly see hickeys now. "Wow is everyone but me getting laid?" 

"I'm not if its any consolation." Armin commented.

"No one asked you, peanut gallery." Eren grumbled and threw a fortune cookie at him. "Well for what it's worth, welcome to the gang. We meet on Saturdays and drink ourselves silly. Unless someone has a Saturday final, then it's normally Sunday since I'm the only one who has Monday class and my teacher is pretty chill." 

Annie smiled at him over her plate. "Thanks. Good to know. So what's your major?" 

Eren shrugged, "Depends on who you ask, really. Mikasa would say something snarky like wasting my time. Armin would say I'm undecided. But I'm not. I'm a full time art student. I dabble in design, I spend a lot of time in the studio trying different mediums. I've been getting really into screen printing lately. It's amazing to think that you can use light and emulsion to change the mesh of something so no paint gets through. Ugh. It's like a crazy process." 

"Wow. Okay. Art. Got it." Annie smirked at Mikasa like the two of them were sharing a joke. Eren threw a fortune cookie at Mikasa. 

"Oh! So I kind of fucked up and lost my key, so Bertolt leant me this one which I think might be his master key. What should I do with it?" 

"Nothing. Don't be a dick since he's lending it to you as a favor." Armin didn't even bother looking up that time. 

"He's probably right. You could get him in a lot of trouble." Mikasa said with her mom voice on. 

"Come on Annie you're my only hope." He feigned dramatically. "What do I do with it?" 

"Sneak onto the roof and get wasted?" She offered with a small smile as Mikasa smacked her arm. 

Eren smiled, "Aw yes! You will fit in quite nicely. I like you. Mikasa, she's a keeper." He pulled out his phone and shot off a quick group message to all his friends, and Mikasa groaned when his phone buzzed. She knew what it was without even looking. 

**YaegerBomb:** Hey guys! I've got roof access tonight! Who's down for a party? BYOB! See you there losers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at:
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to this beautiful lady for continuing to edit this into something readable.
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com

Mikasa sighed and glared at Annie, "I can't believe this was your idea." The rooftop was packed with their friends and everyone was relatively buzzed already. Annie had her arms around Mikasa's waist as they danced to the music someone started playing.

"Oh come on. This isn't so bad. And we aren't up high enough that anyone could get too hurt if they get super drunk and jump. So you should relax and enjoy some time off the track." She leaned in, placed a kiss on her neck and Mikasa was done questioning.

Eren watched the whole exchange in a weird mix of disgust and general curiosity. For the longest time he thought his sister was asexual and would stay alone for rest of their lives.

Armin walked over and handed him a beer. "So how does that make you feel?"

"You’re a marine biologist, not a shrink. And I am no fish. You know I can't swim." Eren rolled his eyes and drank about half of the bottle in one go.

"That was an actual question. Like are you okay with your sister having a girlfriend?" There was an air of concern in his voice which Eren ignored.

"I don't know man. I just feel like since I came out last year, it seems there are a lot more willing people but like I don't want them to get hurt or hurt anyone if it's just a phase for them." He paused to drink, "I don't know if that even makes sense."

"It does. Especially with Mikasa. You care, she's your sister. I get it." A comfortable silence passed between the two of them. "Oh wait, how'd you end up getting that can off your finger from last night?"

Eren was about to open his mouth when Connie stood on a chair above everyone and started yelling. "HEEEEYYYY!!! This is Jean's first party in two years!" He hopped down and pushed some guy up onto the chair in his place. "This is Jean!" Connie shouted from beside him. Jean gave an awkward wave and looked down at Connie "Make sure this guy has a fucking great time!!!!" Connie continued before letting a very uncomfortable Jean get down from the chair.

"Speaking of the horse." Eren mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Armin yelled over the music that had been turned up. But Eren was already gone, making a beeline for the hot doctor from earlier in his day.

"Hey cutie. What's your major?" Eren called, reaching out and turning Jean to face him.

Jean's expression morphed into one of horror. "Are you stalking me?!"

"No horseface, this is my mother fucking party! Woooo!" Eren bellowed, and Jean just stared at him and blinked.

"Nope. That's it. I'm going back to my dorm. I can't handle this." Jean suddenly looked like he was having a hard time breathing.

"You can't go to a party and not stay long enough to get a drink?! What are you, not human?! That's like a basic law of college!!"

"I don't drink." The words got lost in the din of the party and Eren just stared at him. "I don't drink!" He yelled a little louder and Eren heard him that time.

"That's cool man. Want a water or something? You look uneasy." Eren grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the group and over to a cooler someone brought that was full of water, he'd put money on it being Mikasa. Eren pressed a cool bottle into Jean's hand and realized for the first time that his skin was pale and he was shaking. "Whoa. Are you okay?"

Jean gulped down almost all of his water and tried to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth. "I don't do parties. I don't drink. I just don't do this." He sounded like he was talking to himself more than Eren, and the other boy couldn't help but feel a bit concerned.

"Alright. Then why'd you come with Connie? How do you even know that asshole?"

"I know his girlfriend. Sasha from the clinic. They forced me to come out. Kept telling me what I was missing out on and guilt tripped me into it."

"Wait. that's the same chick as the one over there now with her top off?"

Jean looked over and groaned. "Yeah that's her alright. I really wish she'd learn to keep her clothes on."

"Come on man, let a girl have some fun. That's kinda the point of a party after all."

"It's not always fun for everyone, alright?" Jean snapped. "Sorry about that. I haven't been in this kind of environment in a while. It's throwing me off. I'm not normally such a dick." 

"Yeah you are. But that's okay. It's kind of like my type. How about this? You give me one song to change your mind."

"You're not going to hurt yourself are you?" Jean raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I trust your ability to dance. Or walk. Or move for that matter. You seem a bit accident prone."

"Pfft a bit? You don't even know. But what do you say? One song, one dance, if you're still so upset you can peace out and I won't judge you for it. And neither will anyone else."

"I feel like I don't have a choice in the matter."

"You don't." Eren grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the crowd. A new song started and Eren turned his back to Jean. It had been a long time since anyone had danced with him and even then, this wasn't was he was expecting. Eren's hips moved in time to the music and on every low beat he'd push his butt out to rub against the front of Jean's pants. Jean didn't know what to do or where to put his hands, he was starting to panic.

Eren looked at him over his shoulder and could read the distress on his face. He grabbed Jean's hands and put them on his hips and he set his hands on top of them, "Just do what I'm doing, okay,?" Eren flashed him a huge smile and went back to wiggling his hips. Jean started to move his hips in time with Eren's and he started to remember why he used to like dancing so much, the friction was intense.

It didn't take long for the tension in his shoulders to relax and for him to find a steady rhythm with Eren. One song turned into two and then into three before Jean realized how thirsty he was. "I'm going to get a drink!" He shouted over the roar of the people. It seemed to only be getting more and more crowded. A thought occurred to Jean, he turned on his heel and found his way back to Eren. He grabbed the front of his shirt and glared, "Did you do this with Bertolt's key?!"

"Yeah. I thought that was obvious."

"You little shit! If anything bad happens here it's his fault! It's on him! He's a good fucking guy who is about to graduate with a fucking perfect GPA. He's going to be an amazing accountant and you're risking his future to have a party?! What is wrong with you?!" Jean glared and headed for the exit when Connie appeared.

"Jean-bo, where you going my man?" Connie's voice wavered and despite the amount of alcohol in his system he knew this was bad.

"Home. You know I don't do this." He glared and brushed past Connie.

\------

It was about two hours later that Bertolt figured out where the noise was coming from and marched upstairs. The roof was packed, there were more students than just the ones in his building and he couldn't even believe what he was seeing. Finding Eren was the easy part since he was currently the loudest and drunkest person on the roof.

Eren teetered back and forth for a moment before things clicked. "Hey everyone! This guy says the party's over!" He shouted pointing at Bertolt who still had his hand out for his key.

"Boooooo!!" The resounding noise was deafening.

But then Bertolt's big blonde boyfriend was standing on a chair yelling about free pizza on the quad and sure enough, everyone bought his story and they were soon rushing out of the dorm. "Give him the key you little punk."

Eren handed Bertolt the key, "Who are you calling a punk? Asshole!"

"Whoa. Sorry about him, and all of this. I'll just take him off your hands." Armin appeared at his elbow and Eren flung himself at his best friend.

"Armin! I love you man! Did you see Ymir and Krista making out in the corner, it was hot. But don't tell them I said that. Ymir will kill me. Oh but what about Sasha doing keg stands?" Eren mumbled nonsense about the night’s events as Armin dragged him down the stairs and to their dorm room. 

"You need to get a key tomorrow." Armin sighed.

"I need a bathroom now." He grabbed his stomach and ran towards the communal bathroom on their floor. Armin just stared, taken aback by his sudden lack of friend. There was a large thud from the bathroom and Armin took off running after Eren.

"Oh no." Eren whined from the floor next to a toilet. He had his hands pressed against his forehead and he was slowly rocking back and forth.

"Eren?! Are you okay?"

"I think I hit my head."

"Let me look."

"But Armin. I'm not a fish. You can't fix me." He moved his hands anyway.

Armin could see the bruise starting to form under the skin and was suddenly worried his friend had just given himself a concussion. "Shh. It's okay. Eren can you sit up?"

There was a groan from the floor. Eren tried to sit up and barely got to the edge of the toilet before he started puking. Armin looked away and patted Eren's head trying not to fully acknowledge his best friend throwing up.

"I think I'm good now." Eren moaned and tried to stand up. He started to fall, but caught himself on the door frame of the stall. "I lied. There are still two of you and my head is killing me. I want to sleep." His words were garbled.

"Um, you hit your head pretty hard. I don't think you should sleep. You may need to go to the clinic again."

"No. Horseface is mad at me and I don't want to look at him."

"Horseface? Eren, what are you saying?"

"Jean. I don't wanna see him." Eren tried to make his way out of the stall only to stumble on the threshold of the door. Armin wrapped an arm around him and guided him back to their room. It didn't take Eren long to fall asleep.

\------

"Wake up, asshole." A familiar voice called. Eren ignored it and rolled away from the sound. The sudden movement made him want to vomit and the pain in his head woke him up.

"Ow." He whined and cracked open his eyes. Mikasa, Annie, and Armin were all surrounding a guy in a stupidly bright blue plaid shirt. He didn't recognize the guy until he turned around. The look of disgust would be enough to make anyone remember Jean's face.

"Go away." Eren swatted at the hand that was reaching for him.

"Cut it out." Jean snapped. His hand grabbed Eren by the chin as he shined a flashlight in his eyes.

"That hurts. Stop it." He fussed again and tried to push Jean away.

"Armin, you were right. Asshat has a concussion."

Eren frowned, concussion? That was when he remembered hitting his head on the toilet when he was going to throw up. "Please just go away." He groaned and pulled his covers over his face.

"Do you have class today?" Jean asked as he poked the lump of blankets.

"No." A muffled voice answered.

"Good cause you most likely couldn't process the information if you tried, given your state."

"Are you calling me stupid?" Eren demanded, throwing off his blankets.

"No. You have a concussion, it's a brain injury. Though if we're being honest, what kind of person hits their head so hard on the toilet when they're drunk and throwing up?" Jean waved his pen at Eren and he felt the urge to smack that smug smile off his face.

"Fuck off." Eren grumbled, pulling his covers to his chin.

"Someone needs to stay with you to wake you up every couple of hours." Jean turned his back to Eren again. "Any takers?"

"We've got practice and class so we can't." Mikasa said holding onto Annie's arm that was wrapped around her.

Armin frowned. "I've got a lab in like 20 minutes. I mean, I could skip it but I wouldn't be able to make up the content and it could be on my final."

Jean sighed, Eren watched his posture change as he ran an unsteady hand through his hair. "I guess I'll have to stay, code of ethics and all that. Let me grab my laptop and then I'll babysit." There was a small, nagging thought in the back of his mind but Eren brushed it off and fell back asleep as he watched Jean leave.

\------

There was a hand shaking his shoulder this time. He opened his eyes and found Jean. "Sit up and drink this." He said, pressing a water bottle into his hand.

Eren took a sip and then realized all at once that his throat was on fire. He drank quickly and watched as Jean clicked away on his computer, he had his glasses on again.

"Don't drink too fast. You'll give yourself a stomach ache." He commented without looking up.

"Why?" Eren croaked out.

"You're sick. I'm a med student. It comes with the territory. I was the only one in the clinic willing to come check on you."

"Why?"

"I have had some really bad experiences with alcohol and it makes me nervous to see other people go through that without someone to look out for them."

"I thought you hated me."

"I do. Don't think for a second I've forgiven you for being an irresponsible little shit last night. But you needed someone here so you didn't slip into a coma. I wasn't just going to leave you unattended." Jean sighed and took his glasses off to look at Eren. "Go back to sleep."

Eren set the empty water bottle on the table and curled back up in bed. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep since his brain was running a marathon with the little bit of information Jean had given him.

\------

The next time it was music that woke him. It was soft and classical and he couldn't figure out why it had woken him up. Jean was sitting at Eren's desk and hadn't noticed that he was awake yet. He was tossing a small POP! figure of Batman in the air, catching it over and over. The smooth motion reminded Eren of how lightly and careful he had touched his hands when getting his finger out of the can. Eren sighed a little too loudly, causing Jean to drop the figure. "Sorry. I'll just put that back."

"It's fine." He mumbled, not wanting to raise his head.

"How are you feeling?" Jean asked, turning his attention back to his screen.

"Like ass. I'm still a little tired. I think I'll sleep some more." Eren closed his eyes to fall back asleep without another word.

\------

Armin is the next one to wake him up. _His lab must be over_ , Eren thought. "Hey, how are you doing?"

Eren sat up, "I think I'm feeling better. What time is it?"

"Like 4. You slept for most of the day. Jean said you're well behaved if you're asleep." Armin smirked.

"Fucking horseface." Eren grumbled, but he couldn’t help but feel grateful that someone had been there to keep an eye on him.

"He left this for you." Armin said, handing him an envelope.

The handwriting on it is small and a little on the messy side, but what else could you expect from a doctor? He opened it to find a key and a sticky note from his desk. The same handwriting was on it:

_Hey kid,_  
 _I got you a new key. Bertolt hates you, so does Reiner. Quit being such a prick to everyone._ ~~  
_And getter better soon._ ~~

The last part was scratched out, but Eren could still read it. He smiled, and Armin laughed from across the room.

"Fuck off coconut head."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at:
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late. D: 
> 
> The plan here is to update this once a week normally on Tuesdays. :)

"You know this is the third time in the past week you've come in here complaining of a sore throat, Eren. Are you sure it's not from vomiting after heavy amounts of drinking?" There was a slight teasing tone to Jean's voice as he pressed down on the tounge depressor harder. Eren winced at the giant q-tip he used to swab his throat. 

"No I really think I may have caught something. I mean I spend most of my time in the studio where it's old and cold. You know I think there is mold in the walls." The matter of fact tone caught Jean off guard. 

"Did you," he paused biting the end of the pen he had been using to take notes, "Google that?" He stared at Eren. 

The deep red blush started on his neck and rose towards his cheeks. "N-No." He stammered. "It's something my mom used to tell me." He lied through his teeth turning his face away from Jean. 

Jean rolled his eyes and flipped back to the front page of his clipboard. "I think you're a liar and are better off seeing a shrink about being a hypochondriac." 

"I don't think you're allowed to say that to people." Eren's blush died instantly as he glared at Jean. "Your bedside manner needs work. You can't be a dick to people." 

"Eren I'm not being a dick. I was offering my opinion on your health." Jean hugged his clipboard to his chest and sighed. 

"Whatever." Eren snapped and headed for the door. 

A hand reached over his shoulder and shut the door before he could open it. He spun around and found Jean significantly closer than he had expected. He could feel Jean's breath on his lips since his face was only inches away. 

"Don't be mad kid. It's not that big of a deal. I just legitimately don't think there is anything wrong with you. You're perfect," he paused. "Perfectly healthy." Jean put his hands back in his pockets. 

Eren couldn't ignore the lack of space between them. Over the past week he had grown accustomed to showing up in Jean's examination room from time to time. But every time they got close, something pulled Jean away. He was determined to figure it out. 

"I'll tell Sasha you said I'm perfect." He smirked and walked out. After shutting the door behind him he could hear Jean swearing and throwing his clipboard back down on the counter. Snickering to himself he made his way to Sasha's counter.

"So how did it go?" She asked, setting her head in her hands and gearing up for a love story of extravagant proportions. 

"He said I was perfect and then promptly corrected it to perfectly healthy." Eren rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of her counter. "Do you think I should just ask him out? I mean I'm pretty sure he'll say no. Anytime we get remotely close to talking about anything important he scurries away. He's like a small child hiding behind his mother’s skirt. I hate it." Eren grumbled before pulling a lollipop out of the jar. 

Sasha sighed and rearranged the paperwork on her desk. "The two of you are retarded. Like honestly you both find each other attractive. You two need to just get over yourselves and bang." She huffed at her papers and smacked the stack on the counter to straighten them out. 

"So he finds me attractive, does he?" Eren raised an eyebrow and sucked on his lollipop. 

"Nope. No way. I'm not going to be a messenger between the two of you. You need to figure it out yourselves." The phone rang and she snatched it up. "Hello, thank you for calling Trost University Student Clinic. My name is Sasha, how can I assist you?" She shooed Eren away and he stuck his tongue out at her before leaving the clinic. 

Slowly, the days started to blend together; the students were over the midterm hump and everyone had escaped without any major issues. Eren hadn't lied when he said he was spending most of his days in the studio, and his paint splattered pants only proved it further. He walked into the building and made his way to his sectioned off portion of the studio. Armin had left a note on his whiteboard asking him to grab some Thai food on the way home in preparation for their study date later in the evening. 

When he'd been assigned the studio the first thing Eren had done was set up a hammock. It served as his base of operations where he did most of his design work before printing it all out and going to town with his ghetto screen printing rig. There were buckets of ink stacked against the wall, all purchased with his hard earned summer job money. Eren settled into the comfortable atmosphere, he could hear other people playing soft music and artists sharing their work with others. He slipped on his headphones and opened his laptop, figuring he should actually get some work done. 

When he worked everything was simply beautiful vectors and shapes that just flowed together and he loved every second of it. He was putting the finishing touches on a showcase poster he was designing for the graduating group of violinists. Krista had asked him to do it as a favor and he didn't mind, it added to his portfolio. There was a knock on the edge of the opening that served as an entrance way.

"Yo." 

Eren looked up to find Jean standing awkwardly in the door frame. "Oh. Uh. Hi." Eren said pulling his headphones off so they rested around his neck. Big green eyes blinked at Jean. 

Shifting his bag Jean picked a particular spot on the floor to continue starting at. "So this is where the magic happens, as they say." 

"Yeah. It is." He mumbled. "You can come in. I mean I can scoot over and you can sit here if you want. I don't know." Eren fumbled over his words. Never in a million years did he expect to see perfectly put together Jean standing in his messy studio space. 

Jean took a few steps past the threshold before raising his gaze to actually take in the scene. He noted the hammock and the rack of screens that were shoved into one corner. There was a desk built into the wall across from the opening, but it was covered in piles of paper. They looked like test prints but Jean couldn't be sure. He walked over and sat next to Eren causing the hammock to sway, his hands clutched at his bag strap like his life depended on it. 

"Sasha said I should stop by and see you."

"Why did she say that?!" 

"I don't know. You tell me." 

Eren scratched the back of his neck. "Alright listen man, I don't say this to many people but you're really freaking attractive and I want to get to know you more. Maybe get coffee or dinner or something." Jean's leg shook visibly and Eren reached out and set his hand on the knee vibrating beside him. "I'm not going to kill you or anything, chill." 

Jean turned and looked at him finally, his face was pale. "I, I mean, my last romantic encounter ended poorly. I really wouldn't want to put you through the same thing. I just wanted to confirm my suspicions that was what was happening here." Jean stood abruptly, almost knocking Eren off the hammock. 

"Whoa. Hey chill out dude. I'm not asking for your fucking hand in marriage. Just how badly can something go that you never want to try it again?" Eren reached out for Jean's shoulder, Jean shook him off. 

"I think you should find a different med student to see about your ailments." He spoke so softly Eren almost missed it. But sure enough, he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach and Jean walked quickly out of his studio and out of the art building entirely. 

"What the fuck?" Eren sighed and leaned against the door frame. 

\------

"And then he just flew out of the studio. Like I could have called it fucking jogging man. Who does that?!" Eren had just finished telling Armin about his encounter to Jean over Thai food. 

"We're supposed to be studying not discussing your love life. Or lack there of." Armin commented, brandishing his fork at Eren. 

"But come on, don't you think there's a story there? There has to be to make a guy never want to date again. What do you think it could be?" Eren shoveled food into his mouth at a rate that both shocked and appalled Armin. 

"I think you need to slow down there before you turn into a girl on her period." Armin took the take-out container away from Eren. "I thought you were going to start watching your intake, loser." He closed up the box and put it out of Eren's reach. 

"Wow. You're an ass. But I love you and thank you. I really should start working out again." Eren sighed and leaned back on Armin's bed. "So what do you think?" 

"About Jean? I think you need to talk to him about what happened. I mean I have an idea but it's not my place to tell you." 

"How could you have an idea? You don't even know the guy." 

"Actually I do. We had a class together my first semester. He was really nice and let me borrow his notes once, but that's beside the point. The point is you need to ask him and if he doesn't want to tell you he doesn't have to." 

"Ugh. That's the same stupid shit Sasha said and when I tried, he bolted like a fucking spooked dog." 

"Well it's his mental health, not yours. Don't question it." 

"Mental health? Is he unstable? Should I be worried? I made a joke and told him I swore I wasn't going to kill him on a date." 

Armin's face lost all color and he stared at Eren. "You didn't say that." 

"Um yes I did. It was a joke. It was funny?" 

"No wonder he peaced out, I would too. Oh Eren." 

"What?! What did I do?! I don't understand why you're looking at me like that." 

"Okay. This is public knowledge, I mean you could google his name and find this so I guess I'll tell you. About a year ago Jean and his boyfriend at the time, Marco, got into a really bad accident. Jean was driving them home from a frat party, to be fair he was pretty far gone from what I've heard. And he drifted into the oncoming lane and a semi truck hit the passenger side of the car. He made it out alive because the truck driver called the cops and the ambulance got there in time. Jean was ticketed and fined for driving under the influence and is currently on probation. Marco wasn't so lucky. He died. This all happened around the time we were applying. It was all over the news I can't believe you missed it." 

"Oh. Shit." Eren stared open mouthed at Armin. No wonder Jean fled at his comment, he probably thought Eren was making fun of him. Eren scrambled around for his phone and his keys. "I have to go find him and say sorry. God I'm such a fuck up." Eren's heart was racing while he shoved his shoes on the wrong feet and had to change them before leaving. It was starting to thunder outside and it took Eren a few moments to realize he had no idea where to go. 

He knew that Jean was a senior. So he had to either be in the Rose building or the Maria building. Eren ran to the Rose building and banged on the RA's door. Jean opened the door with a scowl on his face, "What do you want?!" He paused and his whole manner shifted. He no longer looked angry, just disheartened. "Eren. Stop. Just leave me alone." 

"I didn't know. I swear to the high heavens I had no idea about Marco and the car accident. I had no idea what I was saying or asking of you. I'm so sorry if I upset you. Armin literally just explained the whole thing to me." Eren paused and took in a deep breath. 

"It's okay kid. I didn't think you knew. It was before you got here. I just don't think I can do this," he gestured to Eren. "Right now. I've got to look at applying to medical schools and take care of all of my graduation crap. I just can't." 

"What, you can't have coffee with a fucking gorgeous guy because it could end in you liking me? That's kinda fucked up." 

"No asshole. I don't have time to be in a relationship." 

"I'm not asking you to be. I said I want to get to know you more, not I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you chill out and just come get a drink with me sometime?" 

"And what do I get out of it? I have very little free time." Jean leaned against his door frame and smirked. 

"You get a free drink and to stare into these deep jade pools I call eyes. And the potential for more drinks in the future." Eren smirked right back and batted his lashes at Jean. 

"I mean, I guess. Since you're so obviously desperate. I mean you came running after me, that's pretty cute to be honest. How did you even know that I lived here?" 

"I didn't. I was just going to ask the RA if you were in this building or Maria. But then you were the RA." 

"It's part of the reason I was so pissed for what you did to Berthold." He crossed his arms and looked down at Eren. He was only a few inches taller but it was enough to make Eren want to knock him down a few pegs. 

"Well maybe you should have told me." 

"Maybe you shouldn't have been such an ass." 

"Shut it, horseface. I'll stop by here around 7 tomorrow. Does that work for you, princess?" 

"I guess. The clinic closes at 6 so I should have enough time to pretend I care how I look for you." A few kids were leaning into the hall at this point, staring as their RA flirted heavily with some random freshman. "Now go away. You're making a scene." 

"Please. You haven't seen anything yet." Eren got into Jean's personal space and put a hand on his neck pulling him closer. "I can give you a scene if that's what you want." They were inches apart and Eren watched a blush bloom across Jean's cheeks. 

"Nope. That's not necessary. I will see you tomorrow." And with that, Jean pulled away and shut the door behind him. Eren smiled to himself and left feeling like a million bucks. It was only when the rain started pouring on his way back to his dorm did he realize he had no idea what he was doing, going on a date with a senior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at: 
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com
> 
> And thanks to Sarah for editing you cans find her here: 
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

"So can I wear this or do I look like a tool?" Eren asked, stepping out of his tiny closet and facing the five girls that were piled onto his bed. 

"Tool." Yimir commented. 

Krista smacked her arm, "Be nice." She hissed. 

"To be fair you kind of always look like a tool." Yimir corrected. 

"I hate you." Eren glared and turned to Mikasa for her opinion. 

"Um I guess you look alright." Annie sighed and played with Mikasa's hair absentmindedly. 

"I don't think that you should tuck your shirt in." Sasha frowned. She was the only one taking this seriously. "Go back to the green long sleeve thing but bring out that dark grey hoodie you had earlier." 

Eren sighed, he was starting to get really nervous. He glanced at his phone and noticing the time only made his heart beat faster. 

"Good. Yes. Now we are getting somewhere. Put on the jeans and the high tops that don't have paint all over them." Eren whined but followed her advice. "Okay, now put on the necklace you have with the weird wing pendant. And," Sasha tapped her chin, "Ah I got it, put your gold studs back in." 

Eren changed his earrings for what felt like the millionth time in the past hour. But when he looked in the mirror he was pleasantly surprised. "Are you sure you aren't a fashion student?" He asked over his shoulder. There was one piece of hair on his head that just wouldn't lay flat. 

He noticed Mikasa getting up and walking over to him in the mirror. "Hey, you look good kid. Mom would be proud." She straightened his jacket and ruffled his hair. 

"Come on I just fixed that!" He groaned. 

"Regular ol' prima donna over here." Yimir rolled her eyes. Krista smacked her arm again and glared. 

Eren rolled his eyes, he was used to Yimir by now, it was almost part of why he kept her around. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and checked the time again. "So if I say I can't do this?" 

"SHUT UP!" All the girls shouted in unison, they were beyond tired of hearing Eren say he wanted to back out. 

He smiled at them and nodded. "Alright I got this." 

Eren left the room and headed towards Jean's building, it wasn't a long walk but it was long enough for his confidence to fade. The whole way there he just kept thinking about all the ways that it could go wrong. In his mental scrutiny he managed to run into a bench and bang his knee really hard so he was limping when he finally reached Jean's room. 

"I promise I don't bite. I mean, unless you want me to." A sly voice cooed from the now open door. Eren looked up and found a smirking Jean. "I'm almost ready. Come in for a sec so I can grab a jacket and my shoes." 

Eren stepped into the dorm room and was surprised at the pristine condition it was in. "How did you know I was there?" Eren asked, taking in the surroundings. The room was clean but it was filled to the brim with nicknacks and photos. The lighting was dim and it smelled kind of like vanilla. It was nice. 

"Anyone could hear your mouth breathing from miles away." Jean shrugged into a plain maroon zip up hoodie. 

Leave it to this asshole to ruin a moment, Eren glared at him across the room. "I'm not a mouth breather!" He snapped from his position leaning against the desk. 

"You can't honestly believe that." Jean deadpanned and sat on his bed to pull on his shoes. 

"Remind me why I want to get to know you again."

"It's cause I've got a nice ass." 

"More like you are an ass." Eren rolled his eyes. "Are you ready or what?" 

"Oh please, like you're a ray of sunshine." Jean smiled and grabbed his wallet off the desk. "After you." 

It didn't take long for Jean to notice that Eren was walking funny. "Did you honestly hurt yourself again?" He groaned. 

"Only a little." Eren smiled and scratched the back of his head, hoping he looked cute enough to be let off the hook. "I ran into a bench on the way in." 

Jean rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you exist." Eren just beamed in response. He lead the way to a small German bar that was on campus. The bar tender greeted him in German and Jean was surprised when Eren answered back. "You know German?" 

"Yeah, my father was a doctor in Germany for the military when I was a kid. I'm fluent. I mean it's not really useful or anything though." Eren leaned back over the bar to order drinks for the two of them. Jean watched the glasses being filled with a golden liquid and he looked a little nervous and placed a hand on Eren's shoulder. 

"I don't drink kid, remember?" The words were kind but Eren flushed and called out to the bartender saying something Jean didn't understand. 

Eren's cheeks were still pink with embarrassment when he turned to face Jean again. "Sorry, I forgot. It's just an automatic habit to order for whoever I'm with." 

"So you bring all the boys here, then?" Jean raised an eyebrow and leaned against the bar. The bar stools were comfortable even without a back to them and the way Eren straddled his only brought bad mental images into Jean's brain. 

"N-no!" Eren stuttered, suddenly flustered by the blonde in front of him. Jean laughed, it was a deep and hearty sound and Eren realized he was being made fun of. "You're a prick. Don't do that." He huffed, reaching for his drink. 

Jean continued to laugh while Eren ordered for them. "Sorry kid you're just so easy." Eren poured into his glass for a few more moments before being distracted by something in the bar. Jean liked watching him talk, he was animated in his expressions and hand gestures. It captured his full attention. Especially if it was something that Eren was passionate about because then his eyes went this beautiful shade of green. He didn't realize it until their food was gone but it had gotten late. 

"And then Mikasa sped up just enough to give the other girl hope before completely taking over and crushing this girl. Ugh. It was fantastic. You should come sometime. I know girls track sounds boring but it's actually pretty cool." Eren smiled, snatching up the bill before Jean could even acknowledge it. 

"I'll pay for my half." He said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. 

"I know it's been a while but I'm pretty sure you know that's not happening." Eren rolled his eyes before putting cash in the book and standing to leave. 

Jean followed suit. This was the part that made him nervous. It was one thing to sit and have a drink or dinner with someone. But the part that scared him was being closer than that to anyone. Eren reached out and threaded his fingers through Jean's as they walked back across campus. 

"I had a good time tonight." Eren smiled. Jean could see his bright green eyes even in the dark and his pulse picked up. 

They were getting closer to his building and Eren's hand felt like it was on fire. He was vaguely aware of his palm starting to sweat. "Yeah. Me too." He mumbled. 

They were at his door, and he could feel his throat starting to constrict and his chest getting tight. "This is the part where you let me kiss you." Eren smirked, leaning against the door frame. 

"Um." He managed to choke out. 

"That was a joke, dude." Eren shook his head. Standing on his toes, he placed a hand on the back of Jean's neck, "I mean, you could always just invite me in." Jean went red and Eren laughed. "Payback for the bar. Though the offer stands." 

Jean could feel his body start to relax and he managed a small smile. "I'll see you around, kid." He opened his door and started to step in before Eren caught his wrist. 

The smaller brunette was smiling at Jean. "Not unless I see you first." He let his fingers trail down Jean's wrist and then he was out the door on the way back to his own dorm. Jean just stopped and stared at his wrist.

Once the doors closed behind him Eren mentally kicked himself for saying something so lame. He groaned and walked back to his building kicking rocks the whole way. And for the second time that night he bumped into something, only this time I was a person. "Watch where you're going brat." 

The familiar voice made his head snap up, "Hey Mr. Ackerman. Sorry about that." 

"Yeager, should have figured. Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" 

"It's only ten and I had a date, thank you very much." Eren could never figure out why this professor got under his skin but he did without fail. 

"You don't have to be so defensive. Just watch your you're going more." He turned to leave and Eren reached out and tapped his shoulder. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"You just did, but go on." He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. 

"D-did you know Marco Bodt?" 

There was a sad flicker in his eyes before the resumed their steely gaze. "I did yes. Why do you ask?" 

"I think I want to know more about him." 

"He's dead. Why do you care?" 

"How long do you think it takes someone to get over a lover who died?" Eren suddenly felt extremely out of his depth. 

The professor looked taken back by the sudden frankness. "I lost a girl once when I was younger. We weren't together but I knew she liked me. And let me tell you that it hurt the next time someone tried to touch me. I felt like I was betraying her memory. It felt wrong and made me feel guilty. It took me years before I figured that she would have wanted me to live to the fullest and not in a constant state of mourning." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Eren watched a shift in demeanor and saw him relax and become a much more humanized version of himself. 

"So what your saying is it never really leaves you, the pain?" 

"No. And if you're asking me for why I think you are then you need to respect him. I saw the two of them together and I've never seen a happier couple. So don't push him. Don't ask too much, too quick. I know it's not in your nature, but be patient." Eren jumped when he felt the smaller man put a hand on his shoulder and give it a good squeeze. "Don't forget your pitch is due on Thursday." And with that he was gone. 

He realized that his chest hurt by the time he was in his building, it must have been terrible for Jean to go through that. When he'd made it back to his room he was bombarded by women wanting to know every little detail. Connie and Armin where playing League of Legends in the corner seeming much less interested. 

"Sooooooo spill." Sasha said from Armin's bed where she was crowded with Yimir and a now sleeping Krista. 

Eren nudged Mikasa and Annie to share his bed. "There's not much to tell." He said thoughtfully as he settled back against the pillows. "It was," his face cracked into a wide smile. "It was good."


	5. Chapter 5

It had been three days and Eren hadn't gotten so much as a carrier pigeon for Jean. He was starting to get nervous. Armin could tell from where he was sitting across from him at a table in the library. "Eren, if you don't stop shaking the table with your violent knee jerking I'm going to throw something at you. You're like a dog who needs to be let out." 

Eren checked his phone for the thousandth time that day. "Shut up. I'm fine." 

"You look like you've drank an entire vat of coffee. What is your problem today?" Armin closed his book and Eren knew he was serious about this conversation. 

Eren frowned at the open art history text book in front of him. "When is it appropriate for someone to call you back after a date? Or you call them? I don't know. I haven't actually been on a date since.......I guess freshman year of high school." 

There was a small twitch of Armin's mouth as he tied to hide his laughter. Watching super cocky Eren be so distressed over a boy made him so happy. "I haven't ever been on a date but I think you should give it a little more before you start freaking out. I mean he's a pre med student ad we know he works in the clinic, he's busy." 

"Well that's dumb." He pouted and slammed his book shut. 

"Don't be a baby." Armin opens his book signifying he was done with the conversation. 

"I'll be in the studio." Eren huffed and gathered up his stuff. He could see Armin giving him a look as he left. The walk from the library to the art building was relatively short. Eren reached his section of the studio and threw his things onto the hammock. There was a note on his white board from Mr. Ackerman reminding him that he had a project due in a week, he put his head phones on and set to work. 

Eren didn't notice Jean walk into the studio. He was cutting a film for his newest screen print adventure when he finally noticed. He jumped and the exacto knife went into the side of his thumb and hit his nail. "Fuck!" He yelled putting his headphones off. Jean was quick to react and immediately pulled a first aid kit out of his bag. He pressed a cotton ball to the area hoping to soak up all the blood. 

"Well hello to you too." Jean smiled. "You know you really don't have to hurt yourself to get my attention." 

"Fucking a Jean. You scared the shit out of me. I didn't even hear you come in." Eren flinched when Jean pulled away the cotton ball to inspect the wound. "You shouldn't sneak up on people with knives in their hands." 

"I thought you had a pen." Eren lifted the offending object to show Jean the small blade on it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." The words were softer than his normal tone. 

"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be at the clinic?" 

"Eren it's 8 o'clock." 

"Oh. Well shit. I guess I didn't realize the time." 

"Armin told me you'd be here. I stopped by your dorm first." 

Eren could feel his heart beat pick up speed. "Oh? What's up?" 

Jean swabbed the cut with alcohol and wrapped a bandaid around it. "I guess I just wanted to say thanks for the other night. And I was wondering if I could make it up to you." 

The color in Jean's cheeks made Eren feel a thousand times better about his own warm cheeks. "Yeah. It's cool. I mean how were you planning on making it up to me?" He wiggled his eyebrows. 

"You're a perv." Jean deadpanned and Eren giggled. "I wanted to know if you wanted to go grab a coffee or possibly dessert." 

"Ah so there is dessert involved!" Eren winked. "Yeah. I don't think I should drink coffee Armin said I was very hyperactive today and I should probably chill out." The nervous laugh that followed made his cheeks even brighter. 

"Okay dessert it is. Ice cream alright?" 

"Yes!" Eren gathered his belongings and abandoned his project. "I'm sorry. I really like sweets." 

Jean just smiled and lead him out of the art building. On the other side of campus there was a frozen yogurt shop. The walk was slow, at one point Eren gathered enough courage to reach out and hold Jean's hand again. The warmth of someone else hand in his felt nice and it reassured him a little. "I've been thinking." Jean mumbled. 

Eren shifted uncomfortably as the walked. "Oh? You didn't hurt yourself did you? About what?" 

"No asshole. I've been thinking about you. And me. And I guess you in relation to me." 

Eren swallowed hard. "Okay. And?" 

"And I think for some stupid reason that I like you. I couldn't even begin to tell you why or how you've managed to change my mind after one date but you did. So good on you kid." 

"Why do I feel like there is a 'but' coming?" 

"But I don't want to label this." He gestured between the two of them with his free hand. "I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to me or anything. I've got a lot of baggage and shit that needs to be dealt with before I can establish any form of actual relationship. And you've got to understand that before we go any further." 

Eren frowned. "You don't have to deal with everything on your own. But I guess I get it. Let me know when you change your mind and wish to lay claim to this ass." His frown faded when Jean laughed. 

"Glad to know that you're not even phased." Jean held the door open and followed Eren in. There was a small line at the register, "Do you know what you want?" 

"Pfft. I know you're new here, in my life and all, but you will never need to ask me that about food I swear." Jean just stared at him. Eren turned back to the girl at the counter. 

"Oh hey Eren. Your usual?" She smiled ticking her hair behind her ear. 

"Yes please." 

"You have a usual at an ice cream place? Oh what have I gotten myself into?" Jean smiled and ordered for himself. At this point the triple scoop in a chocolate dipped cone shouldn't have surprised him but it was enormous. "You're really going to eat all that?" 

They had started walking back to the dorms and Eren was through his first scoop already. "Erm yes." He said around a mouth full of food. "I'm sorry this is probably really unattractive." He mumbled whipping his mouth. 

"No it's cool. I'm surprised you're not a chef though with the love of food you've got going on." 

"I dabbled. All through high school I was one of those kids who never really had a thing. Like I hated sports. I tried my hand at writing and it was okay but never kept my attention for long. I tried my hand at baking but i never really wanted to eat what I made so I pawned it off on friends. And eventually it all came back around to art. I absolutely lose myself in it. It's amazing." There was an almost dreamy quality to Eren's eyes and Jean was struck with a sudden urge to kiss him. The pang in his heart hurt, he shouldn't want to kiss anyone but Marco. "You alight?" Eren asked muffled by the ice cream in his mouth, at this point he was through is second scoop. 

"Oh. Yeah. Just thinking. I guess I've always been a science nerd. There's not too much that I'm interested in outside of it." 

"Aside from my ass but do go on." Eren chuckled into his cone. 

Jean rolled his eyes, "I used to play guitar as an outlet but as I got older and more focused on academics it kinda lost its charm. I doubt I could even play anymore." 

The sun had set and Jean was sneaking glances at Eren every time they walked by a street lamp. The boy was young and full of life and Jean was amazed at his calm sense of wonder. A terrible habit kicked in and he ran down a mental list of check points comparing Eren to Marco. There were certain things that were the same but they were vastly different, opposite ends of a scale. Jean kicked himself for the bad habit and reached a trembling hand out to stop Eren where he was walking. 

"What's up?" He asked tilting his head slightly. 

Jean smiled at him, "You've got a little something on your face there." 

"What?! Where?" Erens cheeks went Crimson as he wiped at his face, the last of his cone managing to smear more chocolate across his cheek. 

There was a laugh that came from Jean and Eren couldn't help but smile. "Come here." Jean put his hand on the side of Eren's cheek and wiped away the chocolate with his thumb. His cheek was warm and soft and Eren turned into the touch closing his eyes. Jean lost his sense of self control and leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Eren's lips. 

Eren hadn't meant to moan softly into the kiss but he couldn't help it. No one had ever kissed him like that before, soft and slow. His hand flew up to the back of Jean's head so he could keep him there longer. His stomach was doing backflips, the thing that pulled him out of it was when he felt the last o his ice cream cone melt through his fingers. "Shit." He whispered out of breath as he pulled away. 

Jeans face was flushed, his glasses were askew, and he was looking everywhere but Eren. "Did we grab any napkins?" Eren asked looking at his sticky fingers. 

"I don't thin we did." Jean mumbled smoothing the back of his hair down. 

"Oh well." Eren proceeded to lick the ice cream off his fingers before wiping them on his shorts. Jean couched and tried to pretend he hadn't been watching that whole time. "Um thanks." 

"For what?" Jeans voice was shot. It came out in a low rumble that caught Eren off guard. 

Eren walked over and reached up to run his fingers through Jean's hair, "For this." This kiss wasn't tender like the first, it was rougher. This time around there were teeth and tongues and Jeans hands found their way to Eren's hips and pulled him closer. All logical thought went out the window when Eren slipped a hand up the back of Jean's shirt. He leaned down and bit softly into Eren's neck. This time the moan was loud enough that it made Jean pull back. 

"We should stop." He whispered. 

Eren whined and nuzzled his neck. "But I don't want to." He pouted. 

"We are in the middle of campus." 

"We could be in my room." Eren smirked. 

"I'm sorry but I'm not that easy." Jean pulled Eren's arms away and held his hands, "The time for that will come, but this isn't it." 

"You're no fun." Eren blew a raspberry at him but didn't let for of Jean's hands. 

"Come on. Let's get you back to you're dorm." Eren slipped his hand into Jean's back pocket on the way back to his dorm. "Well if this is what sugar does to you I'll have to keep that in mind." 

"It wasn't the sugar you doofus." Eren blushed and looked at the ground. 

Jean let it go and they walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence just enjoying each other's company. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Eren asked at the door. There was a devious grin on his face that made Jean feel like he was about to be pounced on. 

"As much as I do, I shouldn't." Jean tipped Eren's chin up and gave him one last kiss for the night. "I've got class early in the morning. And somehow I feel like you'd eat me alive and I wouldn't make it to class." 

"You'd be right." He grinned proudly. 

"Good night Eren. Please stay out of trouble." Jean turned on his heel and left. Eren sighed and watch him go before unlocking his door. The last thing he'd been expecting was a full house but there they all sat staring at him. "Um, hi." 

"You are so busted." Connie laughed and pointed at Eren's neck. His hand flew to the spot and he found it tender enough that he knew it would bruise in the morning. 

"Well now you have to tell us." Sasha prodded. 

"Come on Eren, give the ladies a good story." Yimir piped up and handed him a beer. 

"Aw fuck it." Eren found a spot on his bed and settled in to spin a tale of epic proportions for his friends amusement, not noticing the critical looks from Armin as he spoke. 

Over the next few weeks there were more run ins than Eren could count. Some nights Jean would walk him from his studio back to his dorm, other nights he'd walk by the clinic and take Jean for dinner. They fell into a lazy routine of finding each other each day even if only for a few minutes. Text conversations became phone conversations that lasted into the wee hours of the night. Armin constantly poked and prodded and asked all the questions Eren didn't know the answers too. 

In an attempt to avoid the heavy questions his roommate was throwing at him Eren made his way to the track where he knew Mikasa would be. He leaned against the chain link fence till she spotted him. 

She ran up to him with a tiny tight lipped smile. "What's up?" 

"I just needed to get out of the dorm. Armin has been pestering me about Jean." He paused and pulled a bottle out of his bag, "I brought you a powerade." 

Annie whistled really loud from the other side of the track and waved. She held a thumbs up on its side, Mikasa responded with a thumbs up. "What do you guys have your own language now?" 

"Something like that." Mikasa exited the fence and went to sit on the bleachers. Eren followed suit sitting up on higher than her. "Who would have thought?" She smiled across the track at the tiny blonde that was running laps. 

"I haven't seen you smile like that since the day that dad left." As soon as he said it Mikasa dropped the smile. "Oh come on. We all know she makes you happy. It's a typical reaction to dating someone." 

"You an expert now?" She smirked up at him. 

"Heh. No. Nothing like that." He leaned back on the bleachers and she raised an eyebrow at him. "Alright, alright. No need to pressure me into talking." He smiled. 

The sigh that escaped him felt amazing, like a weight was lifting. "Armin just keeps asking if we are dating and if we aren't what is it that we are doing. And I don't have the answers he wants. We aren't labeling things. We are just enjoying each other and I don't think there is anything wrong with that but he seems to think it is because of Marco." Eren took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. 

"And I know he's got baggage because of that and I asked Mr. Ackerman about it." She pulled a shocked face. "Oh. Don't make that face. I asked him about Marco and he told me that it will never really leave Jean. He will always think about it. All I can hope is that he can move on. I mean I don't think he's been with anyone since then so isn't that a good sign?" 

"Yes." She knew he wanted more but she wouldn't be able to make this decision for him. "I think you just have to be patient but I know that's really hard for you. Do you think you can do it? For him?" Eren swallowed the lump in his throat and Mikasa set a hand on his knee. "You don't have to know now. Just figure it out before this gets out of hand." 

Eren nodded, his chest hurt but it wasn't really an unpleasant feeling, just a dull ache. "Fuck man. I never thought this was how we would turn out. I thought for sure I'd flunk all of my non art classes but something about him makes me want to do better. That's a good thing right? Like I want to try harder for him." 

Mikasa let out a little huff that Eren knew from years of experience was a laugh. "I know what you mean." She whispered as Annie approached them. "Hey. I love you. And I think we're both going to be okay." She squeezed his leg before standing to greet Annie with a kiss. 

"Hey brat. You wanna hang out this weekend? There's a house party I think we should all go to. It's being thrown by some kid named Hans but lots of money means lots of liquor." Annie kept an arm around Mikasa's waist as she spoke. 

"Yeah. I'll see what I can move in my schedule for that." Annie rolled her eyes and Eren came down from the bleachers feeling a little better about life. "Thanks sis. For everything." He could hear Annie teasing Mikasa about him as he walked away. He left them be and headed to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at:
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com
> 
> And thanks to Sarah for editing you cans find her here:
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

"You should apologize to Berthold." Mikasa commented out of the blue one day over tacos. Annie was there, she was around a lot more these days. She nuzzled Mikasa's neck while she tried to talk. Eren didn't mind, her level of snark fit in well with the group, it was almost like she was meant to be a part of them from the start. Not to mention she made Mikasa happy. 

"I guess, but I don't think his hulk of a boyfriend would let me near him to apologize." He spoke around a mouthful of taco. 

Armin rolled his eyes, "You could do something nice instead. I'm sure they had to clean up after you." 

"Yeah, but what do I even do? I mean Jean said he's an accountant. Do I buy him an abacus?" 

"How is Jean?" Annie commented with a smirk. 

"I don't know what you're implying." Eren snapped, feeling accosted all of the sudden. 

"I'm just saying, from what I've heard you've come down with quite a few illnesses in the past week or two. Such as a cold, the flu, strep throat, you know it seems a little suspicious." 

"Oh, Annie, I forgot to tell you upon joining our group of friends, but we don't call Eren out on his bullshit. We let him do what he wants cause he won't learn any other way." Armin smiled. 

"Screw you guys." Eren snapped. He was finished with his food and got up to leave. Part of his brain knew his friends were right and he was being blatantly obvious but he couldn't help himself. It was like something had invaded his brain and suddenly all his thoughts were about Jean. Even when he wasn't thinking about him, little thoughts would occur, like “I bet Jean would like this”, and he'd immediately kick himself for it. 

Not really paying attention while he was walking back across campus, he hadn't realized he was walking by the clinic until he heard Sasha's voice carrying. "Oh yeah. For sure. I totally think he does. I mean he's here all the time." He rounded the corner and found her and Jean sitting at a stone table under a little umbrella, they looked like they were on their lunch break. 

"I don't know. You know what happened with Marco." Jean sighed into the tupperware in front of him. Eren tried his best to walk by nonchalant-like but Jean looked up and saw him. "Seriously though, if you're stalking me I can have you arrested." He called out. 

Eren blushed and hoped the twilight would hide it. "Why would I stalk you, horseface?!" He called, his hand on his forehead in mock shock.

"Because you're in love with me obviously!" He turned to Sasha, "Cute little freshmen, they think they're all big and bad." 

"Please. As if. This is just how I walk home. Believe it or not, not everything is always about you." Eren rolled his eyes and continued on his way. He'd never admit to himself that he lived for moments like that, small interactions left a big impact on him. 

The sounds of foot steps approaching behind him made him pause, "Ah. Maybe it's you who is stalking me." He smirked as the taller boy caught up. 

Jean fell into step with him as they made their way back towards Eren's building. He'd been trying really hard to follow Mr. Ackerman's advice and not push Jean, but obviously there was something going on between them. Eren bit his lip and glanced at Jean, he looked calm and happy. The walk to his dorm seemed far too short all of the sudden as they awkwardly stood outside the building. 

"So?" Jean asked, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets and rocking on his heels. 

"So? So what?" Eren countered, trying to tempt something out of him. 

"There's this thing that I think you'd be interested in going to. It's an art show put on by the seniors. It's black tie and everyone drinks wine and has a good time. A lot of the heads of department go. It could be fun." 

"I don't know if that's really my thing. I don't own a suit or anything." Eren leaned against the side of the building. 

"It's okay. You could borrow something of mine. It wouldn't be too big on you. You're not much different in size." Jean kicked a rock by his foot. "But, I mean if you don’t wanna, it's cool." 

"Shut up asshole, you're making things awkward." The laugh that left him was small and more akin to a chuckle, Jean loved it. 

"So you'll go then?" He paused and bit his lip. "With me?" 

"No." Eren deadpanned and watched Jean start to backpedal. "I'm kidding. Yes I will go, you ass. So are you coming upstairs to watch Netflix or are you going back to your stuffy, boring dorm room?" 

"My room is much more organized and livable than yours, thank you. And I guess. I've got this terrible headache from the clinic so it's not like I'd get anything done otherwise." 

Half way up the stairs to his floor Eren threaded his fingers through Jean's. Without fail, Jean's hands always amazed him. He could go from being such a loud mouth to touching someone so softly. There was no one in his dorm for once and Jean made himself comfortable on Eren's bed. It took a few minutes for the laptop to boot up and Eren hummed softly to himself. 

"What do you wanna watch?" He asked, breaking the silence as he walked over to the bed. 

"Hmm. Something not lame, which is obviously why you're asking me." Jean pondered for a moment. "Let's watch Game of Thrones." 

"Ugh. No, it's so boring." 

"It's beautiful, you prick. Come on. Just try the first episode and then tell me you don't wanna know more." 

"That's not even on Netflix." Eren complained. 

"I have HBO GO. Gimme the laptop, we are watching this shit." 

Eren flopped back onto the bed and pouted at Jean, and then suddenly it was pitch black out and Armin was coming back from his late class. "Wow you two in the dark with the laptop light is really creepy. What are you even doing?" 

"Armin, I have discovered the most amazing show. It's called Game of Thrones." Jean laughed, proud that he could get Eren into something. 

"I guess I should go." Jean sighed looking at the time. "I'll stop by tomorrow with a suit for you, and to pick you up. Sound good?" 

Eren nodded from his place on the bed. Jean smiled, he looked so cute with his messed up hair, he wanted to crawl back into bed with him but he knew better. "I'll see you then." Jean leaned down and hesitated before brushing a quick dry kiss on Eren's forehead. 

As soon as the door shut Armin raised an eyebrow, "A suit, eh?" 

"We're going to the senior art gallery showing." 

"Oh? Eren in the entire time I've known you, I have never seen you in a tie, let alone a suit." Arming crossed his arms and leaned against his desk. "You really like this guy, don't you?" 

Eren bit his lip and looked down at his lap. "Yeah. I guess I do. He could ask me to do anything and I think I'd say yes." He grabbed his pillow and dramatically pressed it over his burning cheeks. "I'm so fucked aren't I?" 

Armin smirked. "Completely and totally." 

\------ 

"Are you don't yet?! We need to leave." Jean knocked on the bathroom door for the third time. "Eren, come on." 

"No. I look stupid and I can't get this tie to tie!" He groaned and slammed a fist down on the counter. 

"I'm coming in." Jean opened the bathroom and found a very angsty looking Eren glaring at a spot on the floor. "If you don't wanna go, we don't have to." 

Eren sighed, "That's not it. I just," His hands fiddled with his tie some more before getting frustrated and giving up again. "I just don't know what I'm going to say to these people. This isn't something I’m used to doing, Jean." 

Jean easily batted Eren's hands away and stood behind him so he could reach around and tie his tie for him. "They're just people. I promise it'll be okay. Just stick close to me and follow my lead. They're all artists. I'm sure you'll do fine." 

Biting his lip between his teeth, he made eye contact with Jean in the mirror. "I guess." He turned around to face him. 

Jean cupped the side of Eren's face and leaned in to kiss him softly. It was tender and slow and Eren ate up every second of it. He needed it, he craved it, he knew as soon as it was over that he'd never want anything else. "I promise it will be okay." Jean mumbled against Eren's lips before kissing him once more and pulling away. 

"Okay. Then let's go before I change my mind." Eren sped out of the bathroom, pocketing his phone and keys. Halfway across the quad Jean took his shaking hand in his. It was comforting but Eren still couldn't seem to calm his nerves. 

There were thousands of scenarios playing through his head about how screwed he would be if he made an ass of himself tonight. But, then they were in the art building and the familiar surroundings helped a little. Jean was hyperaware of Eren throughout the evening and for the most part they stuck close by each other. 

At one point Eren left his side to go and talk to a very small man with dark hair. They were very animated and the smaller man smacked Eren's head at one point but when he laughed about it, Jean relaxed. It wasn't until Eren was back that he realized that man was familiar.  
"Who was that?" He questioned as they walked through the gallery.

Jean was sipping a glass of water and staring at a series of photos, Eren realized there was nothing more beautiful than that. "Huh?" He mumbled, realizing he'd spoken. 

"The short guy, who was that?" Jean repeated, taking a closer look at the photos. 

"Oh, Mr. Ackerman. He's my studio art teacher. Actually he's one of my favorite teachers. He can be a real ass but I think he cares about his students. His humor is a bit weird, but it's cool." It took an extra second to process that Jean had tears in his eyes. "Hey, are you alright?" There was a deep pang in his chest as he reached out. 

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry. It's just-," his voice cracked and he gestured to the photos with his now empty glass. 

Eren read the plaque on the wall next to the series of eight photos. 

_Marco Bodt_  
2012  
Serenity 

_I've always found peace in the simplest of things. The way someone smiles at you, a laugh in a quiet room, the way fresh cut grass smells. I did my best to convey that in these photos I've taken and I hope that everyone else enjoys it the way I intended._

Eren stepped back and looked at the photos for the first time. There were eight black and white photos printed on little stretch canvases. The first one was a texture that looked like corduroy and half of a hand. The second was shot over someone's bare shoulder and seemed to be focused on the blanket tacked to the wall. The third was a pair of feet in the sand. The fourth was an eye, Eren couldn't tell the color but he knew it was Jean's. 

He moved on to the second row. The fifth was a picture of a face shot so the focus was on the grass between the camera and the face but Eren could still recognize the out of focus hair. The sixth was a picture of a bunch of crumpled blankets on a bed. The seventh was a row of shoes lined up by a door. The eighth was a pair of hands entwined. 

"You didn't know they were showing this, did you?" He asked softly as he walked back to where Jean had taken refuge around the corner. 

There was a catch in his voice when he tried to talk. "I didn't know the school still had those. It's why that short guy was familiar. Marco took his class." Jean looked like he was going to vomit. 

Eren's heart hurt again, he didn't like seeing Jean look so wounded. "He really loved you." He whispered brushing some hair back into its place. Jean pulled away from him and Eren remembered Mr. Ackerman's words. "I'm sorry." He tucked his hands in his pockets. "Do you wanna go?" 

Jean nodded. Eren could see his body was trembling, but he was terrified to touch him. So, he just kept his hands in his pockets as they walked back across campus. When they reached Jean's building his eyes were red but he'd finally stopped crying. Before him stood a sad, deflated version of the Jean he knew. 

"I'm so sorry. I was just really caught off guard. Fuck. I suck man. I'm sorry." 

"You don't have to keep saying sorry. It's not your fault." Eren wanted to touch him but he left his hands buried in his pockets. 

"So, do you wanna come in?" Jean fiddled with his keys and looked up through his lashes. Eren swallowed hard and nodded. There was a sigh of relief as Jean let him into the dorm. 

It was different from the first time he was here, there was a lot more mess scattered around. Eren could tell Jean had been digging through his closet, probably for his second suit to lend. There was an empty Chinese takeout box near a textbook on his desk. It felt a lot more like home. Jean closed the door and didn't turn on the lights. He grabbed Eren's hand from his pocket. 

"Stay with me?" He whispered, his voice shook. 

"Yeah." Eren croaked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at:
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com
> 
> And thanks to Sarah for editing you cans find her here:
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I got stuck but I think I've worked through it. So back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Jean's dreams were haunted memories, faces fading in and out of focus. He tossed and turned and eventually his subconscious grabbed ahold of a solid memory to taunt him with. 

"Oh dear." Marco giggled against his neck. "I think I'm a little drunk." 

Jean laughed, "Babe you're so drunk." 

"Shut up." He pushed his boyfriend playfully while trying to break out of the arms that held him flush against Jean. 

The music was loud and the frat house was packed with people. They had drunk so much alcohol they knew they'd be sick in the morning but were beyond caring. The two were standing in the hall upstairs, they'd been trying to make their way to a bedroom but kept getting distracted by fits of giggles and rushed make outs. 

Reiner passed the two of them with Bert in tow. "I see we aren't the only ones getting lucky tonight." 

Marco blushed and Jean couldn't resist kissing him. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and sucked. 

"Ugh," Marco groaned, rocking against him. 

Bert hesitated in the doorway to where Reiner was taking him. He stumbled over to them and planted a very wet kiss against Marco's mouth, he missed by about an inch, though, and caught the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry I did that but he's hot and I'm drunk." Bert mumbled before heading back to Reiner who was now laughing. 

A now crimson Marco stared at Jean open mouthed. "You can't blame him. You're very hot." He buried his face in Jean's neck. "That was also kinda sexy." Jean slurred. 

"Don't make fun of me." Marco scolded and managed to get away from Jean this time. He dashed down the stairs and almost fell over a couple who were dry humping on a landing. Jean followed the bouncing brunette back to the living room where everyone was dancing. He lost him for a moment and then there was a hand grabbing his ass and he spun to find his boyfriend grinning at him mischievously. 

"You're such a tease." Jean laughed pulling him against him again. "Here I thought we were going to go upstairs and fuck." He breathed against Marco's ear before kissing right under it. 

"But if we do it here someone could walk in on us." He whined. "And you know how I like to take my time with you." 

It was Jean's turn to blush as his mind turned to long, slow blowjobs in his dorm room. "I really do not give a single fuck." 

"Shut up. Take me home." Marco was kissing down Jean's neck towards his collar bone. "Take me home so I can fuck you nice and slow and deep." His voice was deeper now as he bit down on the bone.

"Fuck. Let's go." Jean grabbed his boyfriend's hand and was grateful he'd worn cargo shorts and not jeans. 

Marco insisted upon saying goodbye to the host while Jean whined beside him the whole time, but in the end it didn't take long for them to pile into Jean's car. He put his seatbelt on and was going to suggest Marco do the same but he was leaning over the center console rubbing Jean's hard on through his shorts. It was dark out as he started up the car. "If you don't stop that I'll have to pull over." 

Marco just smirked and kept at it. "Do you know how hot that would be? You having to pull over and fuck me on the side of the road because you can't wait?" A small moan escaped him. 

Jean was having a hard enough time focusing on his lane let alone the street lights but Marco just kept teasing him. He didn't notice the red light, he turned his head just in time to see the headlights through the passenger window. Marco looked like he had a halo and Jean thought he'd never seen anything quite so beautiful. 

And then it happened. The pain was instant, the sound of the airbags and the crunch of metal snapped him awake. When he managed to pick his head up from the airbag he immediately turned to check on Marco. 

There was blood running down freckled cheeks from the scrape on his forehead. Panic set in and Jean couldn't remember what he was supposed to be doing in the situation. He just stared at Marco. 

"Marco?" He whispered. There was no response, "Marco?!" He tried again louder this time. 

Someone was shouting outside the car, he could hear them through what used to be his car window. "Are you guys okay?" 

"Marco?" Jean asked putting a hand on his cheek, smearing blood all over his hands in the process. Tears were pricking the backs of his eyes, Marco groaned and a wave of relief washed over Jean. 

"Hey kid. I called the cops, they should be here soon. Can you get out?" There was a foreign voice that sounded so far away. 

The tears on his cheeks were hot, "Marco. Please for the love of everything good be okay." He whispered. 

A hand on his shoulder made him jump, a searing pain shot up his leg. "Kid, are you okay? Can you move?" There was a guy in a trucker hat reaching through the cracked window. 

"No. I-I think there's something wrong with my leg. And my, my boyfriend," Jean stopped and looked at Marco, he'd never seen a more horrific sight. "He's not answering me." The sob bubbled up his chest.

"Stay put. The ambulance should be here soon." Everything after that was kind of grey. His dream lurched forward in fits and starts exposing brief memories. Jean remembered being pulled out of the car with blood caked on his hands. The kicking and screaming started when they put Marco on the stretcher but wouldn't let him near him. Jean didn't care if they were trying to fix his leg he wanted to go with Marco. 

The ride to the hospital was the longest car ride he'd ever been in. They wouldn't let him in the same ambulance as Marco. They wouldn't let him see him until he'd talked to the cops and blew in a breathalyzer. They were talking about DUIs and vehicular manslaughter but he was just thinking about his boyfriend who would wake up alone and confused. 

"I need to see him." He cut off one of the officers. 

A guy with a small blonde ponytail and a big nose blinked at him. "Who?" 

"Marco!" Jean snapped, was this guy dense? 

"You can't. Did no one tell you?" 

"Tell me what?" He glared. 

"He's bleeding internally. They just took him back for surgery to see if they can stop the bleeding." 

Jean leaned over the side of his wheelchair and heaved. The contents of his stomach were caught in a bright pink pan by a woman with glasses and crazy hair. The white lab coat indicated she was a doctor. Jean gave her his best pleading look. 

"You're done here gentlemen." She spoke, her voice was quiet but certain. 

"We just have a few more-," 

"Seconds to leave my hospital. I'm Hanji Zoe the Head of Medicine here and I'm assuming care for this young man and asking you to leave. He's been through a great ordeal and needs space. You can come back in a few hours to finish your interrogation." And to Jean's surprise they listened. 

"Thank you." He croaked. The taste of vomit burned in the back of his throat and made his voice hoarse. "Can you tell me what's happening to Marco?" 

"Unfortunately Officer Zacharius was correct. But I can take you to observe the surgery or to the waiting room with his parents. It's up to you." She didn't make eye contact, she was flipping through papers on a clipboard. 

"I really don't think his parents want to see me. But I don't want to see him like that either. He wouldn't want that." 

"How about I put you in the room he'll be in after the surgery? You can nap and we can keep an eye on you." 

His eyes slipped closed while she wheeled him around the hospital. Jean couldn't believe how tired he was as he climbed into the bed assisted by her. The cast on his leg was heavy and the stitches were itchy under it but it didn't matter as he slipped into a deep sleep. 

When he awoke the baby blue light of dawn was just starting to filter through the open window. Marco's mom was asleep in a chair with her head resting on the edge of the bed. His father was no where to be seen, Jean was grateful for that. He slipped off the bed and hobbled over to Marco’s with the help of his IV stand. Jean sat on the edge of the bed and observed. 

Marco was a wreck. There was a bandage around his head, multiple bags were hung from his IV stand, and he looked so pale. Jean reached out and ran a thumb over his cheeks. Marco felt cool under his palm. He hadn't even noticed he was crying till someone reached out and took his hand. 

Mrs. Bodt gave him a weak smile. "It's going to be okay love," She whispered. 

Jean knew she was wrong. 

His dream lurched forward again, pulling him through the next two days that the coma lasted. The images and sounds were no longer syncing up. He could hear constant homophobic slurs from Marco's father but he was reliving his fondest memories of Marco. The whole world seemed to turn upside down at the sound of the heart monitor flatlining screeched through his dream shutting down all his thought processes. 

And then he was alone. 

The darkness stretched out in all directions as far as he could tell. Slowly he got to his feet and started to run, he had no idea what from but his heart was pounding in terror as he ran into the nothingness that was around him. As he kept running he could feel his leg grow tired and sore and eventually it became too much to handle and when he looked down it was broken again. A sob escaped his chest and he tipped over and fell onto his side. 

Out of the darkness walked Marco, blood running down his face staining the white suit he was buried in. "What is it Jean? Don't you like the pain?" His voice was sharp, almost a hiss, Jean didn't want to believe it. "How do you think I felt when the glass shattered into my skull?" 

Jean curled in on himself, dragging his useless leg towards his body, he pulled his gaze away from Marco. The footsteps echoed in the vast emptiness, a strong familiar hand grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, forcing him to look up at Marco. 

"Don't think you can run from me Jean. This is your fault." He used his free hand to smear blood across Jean's hands. "You'll forever have my blood on your hands. You can wash and scrub but you'll always see it. And know that you're responsible for everything that happened." Marco let go,  
Jean's head hit the floor and he jumped awake in bed. 

Eren was sleeping beside him safe and sound, but he had to remind himself that he was okay. Sweat rolled down his temples and he put a hand over his heart to feel the steady rhythm. A tan hand reached out and touched his arm, making him jump. 

"Hey, you okay?" Eren croaked lifting his head to look at him. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep," he whispered. Eren drifted off again and Jean slipped out of bed. Jean knew better than to think he'd be able to go back to sleep again that night, so instead he pulled out his books and set to studying. 

Breakfast that morning was awkward. Eren had his sunglasses on trying to hide the dark bags under his eyes as they sat in the cafeteria. Jean just stared at his bowl of fruit and yogurt. "Hey listen. I'm really sorry about last night." 

"It's cool." Eren said looking away from him. 

"If you want to like take some space or whatever that's cool, I get it. I've got a lot of shit I haven't dealt with and its no ones fault but my own. I don't expect you to take care of it for me." Jean was still staring into his bowl. 

It made Eren's chest ache to see him so down but he wasn't quite ready to deal with this yet. Or ever. "I'm serious. Don't worry about it. Hey look at me." He lowered his sunglasses and made eye contact, "Everything is fine. But I gotta get to class so I'll see you soon. Text me." Eren kissed the top of Jean's head and left the dining hall. 

It was a sunny day and Eren wanted nothing more than to lay down in the middle of the quad and nap, but class was calling to him. Mikasa was on his bed when he got to his dorm and Armin was packing up his things for the day. 

"Do you have class today?" Armin asked. 

"Yeah it sucks balls man. I feel like I could sleep forever." Eren yawned. 

"Well you didn't come back from that art gallery thing so I assume you had a good time." There was a smirk, Eren ignored it. "I would assume you didn't sleep so I can’t blame you. So long as you aren't skipping Ethics cause Mr. Smith gives me sad, pleading looks every time he sees me now." 

"Um. Nothing actually happened." Eren scratched the back of his head and blushed. "Maybe Mr. Smith just wants in your pants." Eren tried to deflect. 

"Um no. He's married. Go back to the part where you spent the night with Jean but didn't have sex?" Armin was staring at him now. 

"I'm also interested." Mikasa piped up. 

"It just didn't happen. He got really upset cause they were showing some photography work of Marco's. I don't want to talk about it." Eren was trying to gather all of his supplies for class but just kept looking back at his bed. "How do you even know these things about people?" 

"He's wearing a wedding band, dingus." Armin threw a giant book onto his bag. 

"So? Mr. Ackerman is wearing one too but I don't actually think he's married." 

"Wow. You're thick." 

"What? I feel like that was uncalled for."

"They're married to each other. Eren, you suck at reading people." 

"What?!" He dropped his phone and it slid under his bed. 

"Everyone knows." 

"Everyone but me!" He called from under the bed. There was no response and by the time he emerged, Armin was no longer in the room. "Asshat." Eren mumbled. 

Mikasa eyed him as he stood back up. "I want to talk about Jean." 

"Did you miss the part where I said no?" Eren snapped at her. 

"You told me that you're willing to be patient for him so what's the deal?" 

"It was uncomfortable. Maybe I'm changing my mind because I'm shallow. Maybe I'm an asshole, who knows? But something about a grown ass man that I put my faith in breaking down like that was scary." 

"Eren, falling in love is scary. Life is scary. You think that people have one hundred percent faith in people at all times? That's not really how it works. Sometimes shit is uncomfortable or hard but if he's okay exposing himself like that to you and you just walk out, you may never be able to fix the damage that can cause to a person. I may not say a lot or spend a lot of time with people but I see everything and I've seen couples fall in and out of love." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I just don't think you should give up." 

"No one said anything about love." He pouted, finally zipping up his bag. 

Mikasa huffed. "I'm glad that's what you got out of that." She rolled her eyes and stood to leave. "Just think about it, okay?" 

Class was a long and slow experience and Eren couldn't wait for it to be done. He smiled and waved at Mr. Smith when he showed up and did his best to pay attention. In a few weeks they'd be having their finals but Eren was having a hard time making himself care about such trivial things. He was really unsure what to do about Jean. His phone buzzed in his pocket. 

Horse face <3: Hey I just wanted to say sorry again for last night. 

YaegerBomb: I told you at breakfast not to worry about it. 

Horse face <3: Yeah but I am.

YaegerBomb: Why? 

Horse face <3: You left so suddenly and I really don't want you to hate me. 

Eren's chest tightened, he felt like a jackass.

YaegerBomb: I don't hate you stupid. 

Horse face <3: Can we talk about it then? Grab some lunch with me? 

YaegerBomb: If it will make you feel better. 

Horse face <3: It will. Thank you. 

Eren pocketed his phone and sighed, he slipped out of the class, not able to focus on what Mr. Smith was saying any longer. Wandering aimlessly ended up taking him towards his studio and before he knew it he was curled up in his hammock with his laptop on his chest as he researched new techniques to try out. Eren knew he should be thinking and processing and dealing but he couldn't make himself do it. He'd rather sweep everything under the rug than have to face it. A knock on the doorway pulled his attention upwards. Ymir was standing there. 

"Hey, what's up?" It was rare that she sought him out and not Kirsta. 

"I don't know man, I've been in this funk for the past few days and I think Krista is pissed at me or whatever. I just wanted to hang. Is that cool?" 

"Yeah I'm not doing anything important." Eren scooted over and the long limbed girl joined him in the hammock. He picked up a hacky sack and tossed it to Ymir. They stayed that that for a while just tossing the small ball between them. "So what do you think you did?" 

Ymir shrugged, she talked less than he did. "I think she wants to move in together or something." 

Eren almost dropped the ball, "What?" 

"She keeps bringing up apartments and graduation and shit. I'm just not there yet. You know I love her and I would do anything for her but that's a big deal." 

"Okay." He paused, "Do you not want to?" 

She shrugged again. "I don't think it’s necessary. What difference does sharing a living space mean to me?" 

"But it means something to her." He knew that Krista just wanted to be with Ymir, but they were only juniors, it seemed like they had plenty of time to think about it. 

"I know and that sucks." Ymir frowned at the ball. 

"Well you should talk to her. I'm sure you guys can find some common ground about it." 

"Heh. Coming from you? Mikasa told me you're having a lovers quarrel with Jeanbo." 

"Fucking Mikasa. I should have guessed. You never visit the studio." 

"So?" 

Eren rolled his eyes. "I just don't know if I can handle his baggage about Marco. Like that's some heavy shit and I'm a freshman and I just don't know man." 

"Sounds like you're making excuses to me." 

Eren gaped at her, "Fuck you." 

She smiled knowing she'd gotten through to him. After knowing Eren all through high school and college because of Mikasa, she knew that it only took one word to plant a seed in Eren's brain. 

"No. I don't do dicks or douchebags. You happen to be both." 

"Get out of here if you're going to be bitch." Eren threw the ball at her this time instead of to her. 

"Just think about it, okay?" Yimir said grinning on her way out. 

"You guys need to get a new line!" Eren yelled after her. He laid in his studio for another hour before he figured it was time to go meet Jean. Throwing his bag over his shoulder he headed out, mentally trying to prepare himself the whole way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at:
> 
> discombobulated-etymology.tumblr.com
> 
> And thanks to Sarah for editing you cans find her here:
> 
> sariahhime.tumblr.com


End file.
